Actually… Why Is True Blood So Popular?

So I just got finished watching both season one and two of True Blood and I have one question. Why the shit do people like this show? LD informed me that there would be tons of naked Alexander Skarsgard, but I watched this shit for two seasons, which translates into twenty-four hour long episodes, and I saw maybe a quarter of his ass. Ummmmmm… That ain’t enough. Sure, Vampire Bill is fine, but even his ass, I saw only like three times. And if you have a boner for Aussie douche Ryan Kwanten, just leave right now. His body is so veiny and sinewy I can’t possibly see the appeal. And season one? Oh, Rene is the killer. Like we ever got any hints that that was coming. Doesn’t Sookuh read minds? How couldn’t bitch tell that that fucker hated her fang banging guts? And don’t even get me started on season two bullshit maenads. She’s invulnerable because she willed herself to be so. Get fucked, Alan Ball. True Blood better deliver on Alexander Skargard boning dudes in season three, because I’m aboot done. And I love Lafayette, don’t get me wrong, but fingers crossed, it’s gonna be Vampire Bill. Because Marilyn Manson’s wife willed it so.