Actually… Yawn

There has been a lot of buzz around the slash fiction water cooler these days (even though they fired me, I’m still pretty tight with the steno pool) about which celeb was going to come out on People’s latest issue. Well, boys and girls, the wait is over, and it’s some lady country singer. Chely Wright, some country singer with a new album and fucking memoir coming out, decided to out herself, saying “I hid everything for my music.”

Could this be any more boring? First off, People magazine, the people who read you don’t know about country music. Second, no one cares when lesbians come out. It’s like, sure, when Ellen did it (or when Tila Tequila took credit for Ellen), yeah it’s kind of amusing, but we (I’m pretty confident I can speak for the American public here) want DUDES coming out of the closet. I want to hear that Mario Lopez or Ryan Gaycrest or even Simon Cowell finally took that step into those sequined pumps. My assumption (based on nothing but cold, hard facts, natch) is that being a lesbian in country music is like being a lesbian softball player. No big deal.

All the same, congratulations Chely Wright… Now that we’re on the same team, can you introduce me to Chris Gaines? He’s so dark and brooding! Not like that staid and boring Garth Brooks.