Actually… you can be my hero baby!

Two days ago, a young British woman was banned from drinking and buying alcohol anywhere in England and Wales.

Banned from drinking in Britian.

Seriously?

I can’t even begin to imagine what young Laura Hall was doing to get her pickled ass banned from drinking in a country where doctors send out warnings about the dangers of cooking and wielding knives while in the cups; where every 48 hours one child under 12 is admitted to hospital because of binge drinking;where your average citizen spends £1,272 per year on alcohol; where 8 year olds come to school with hangovers; where local ambulance services had to create a “Booze Bus”; the list goes on and on…

Is it actually possible for a human to drink enough to get banned from alcohol in Britain? I’m having a hard time believing it.

Hall must have been able to reach mythical states of inebriation to get noticed by the “bobbies” in her butt-fuck-nowhere village. So what did she have to do to get a national ban? I’m amazed and fascinated.

While the photo above is exactly how I pictured her in my mind’s eye, I can’t help but wonder if this chav-y exterior actually hides some kind of monsterously awesome chimera of the drink… part Shane McGowan,  part Earnest Hemingway and part David Hasellhoff…

Whether fabled or real, Enrique has got to move it on over, because I hereby declare Laura Hall as ACTUALLY’s inaugural Hero Of The Week.

Three cheers!