Actually… Making Fun Of People From The 905 Is So Very, Very Original

ArtStars* is having a, get this, “Ossington Is The New Richmond: 905er Costume Party” party. How clever! Haha, people from the 905 are stupid, trailer-trash, spray tanned, drunk wannabe losers! Eye Weekly, in some grade-A reporting, writes “the party also speaks to increasing issues of gentrification in the Ossington area, which has been turned into a vibrant club scene over the past year, full of fights, feuds and pissing contests between the clubland clientele and the area’s regulars.” How interesting, Eye, do go on. You say this Ossington is becoming popular? First I’ve heard! They go on to give a helpful guide for 905ers new to Ossington (because, hey, 905ers are always picking up an Eye Weekly and Ossington is such a new mysterious area) like “the locals are lovers, not fighters”, “refer to a Pabst Blue Ribbon as a PBR” (it being the hipster drink of choice “this month”), and ”leave early to beat the traffic”.

 And here I thought this was the most useless thing Eye had ever written.