Actually… Television Was In Dire Need Of More Penises

Sure, there’s that show called Hung, where the guy from Spawn has a big dick and uses it to, I dunno, pleasure women and keep his family together or something. But fucker doesn’t even show us the damn thing! Even in Boogie Nights, we got to see Mark Wahlberg’s weird fake weiner. So that’s why I was so happy to see this show called Spartacus: Blood and Sand. Now, I don’t watch it or anything, because, well, I’ve got this thing called internet and my time would be better spent conducting LAN parties, but Spartacus features dicks galore. Spartacus gets sold into slavery for some reason and obvs that means he and his gladiator buddies should only parade around in loincloths the entire show. Not that I’m complaining, but I can get my coverage (wildly NSFW) here and not have to bother with any of those minute details like plot. Internet 2.0!