Actually... The Hipster World Just Imploded

In a case of too much hipsterism at one time, the town of Williamsburg (or is it Park Slope now? It’s so hard to keep up), imploded on itself when this article from the Wall Street Journal about harem pants came out.

Harem pants, or as you may know them, MC Hammer pants, are totes cool again. Sort of. The WSJ wrote about them and once this went to press, pffft, there went hipsterdom.

“Jean Hall, 24, says the low-slung crotch of her American Apparel African-print harem pants got caught on her bike pedal while she was riding through Brooklyn, causing her to fall off. Her friend, who was riding with her, wrote about the incident on Twitter.”

We’ll miss you, ironic moustaches.

Actually... This Is Change I Can Get Behind

We all know Obama represents change in a real and meaningful way. He fixed all of America’s problems! It only follows that he would be represented in the most beautiful, magical creature around. The unicorn. Wild Ammo shows these awesome paintings by Dan Lacey, which, thankfully, can be ordered as an inspirational poster for your child’s bedroom.

I’m a bit torn on this one though, because I love bears (of the burly, leather wearing variety), but I hate my dwindling portfolio. Yeah, best way to fight the Wall Street kind of bear is probs a naked Obama (he’s glorious) and a unicorn. Makes sense.

Actually... Now These, These Are Sensible

You know when you’re all hungover in the morning and you have to take a beer shit but you’re in like, meetings all morning? I would know, being a high-powered executive and all. Anyway, sometimes, I’m all, if only I could wear a diaper under my pants, my life would be so much easier. Enter these bad boys.

Plus, they can hide my enormous dick. It has all the ladies in the typing pool distracted.

Actually... These Ones, Not So Much

GQ, on the other hand, is reporting that Balmain is selling these mens jeans.

We all knew GQ was for rich assholes, but really? Dig this line on the expense of jeans: “But really? $300, pricey? Have you been to Paris lately?” So true, GQ. Conde Nast is firing your editors left right and centre, but $300 for jeans just isn’t enough. Paris is the epicentre of fashion! They have expensive shit! Patches and acid wash be expensive, y’all. After all, these jeans are just soooo CBGBs in the 70s. And as GQ says, they’re “still cheaper than a pair of 501’s and a motorcycle…”

Actually... I'd Buy Them

Style.com reports on these $2,000 jeans by Acne. The patches are apparently real silver, and I kind of think they’re awesome.

The slash fiction job is paying really well. I’d buy these if I were two hundred pounds lighter. I need some knee pads for long days at the factory and these just ain’t doing the job anymore.

Actually... My Little Pony Just Got Gayer

Lady GaGa has officially earned her place in homo heaven. Sure, wearing no pants all the time and talking about boners (excuse me, disco sticks) is all well and good, but you’re not a gay icon until little queer boys can have a My Little Pony of you to treasure.

Buzzfeed has found this toy and I have to say, it’s a little bit underdone. Where are the thigh high boots? Why plastic pearls instead of a unitard or something? Anyway, when I have my son and turn him gay (that may be a mother’s job only), I’ll get him one of these and tell him about how when his dad was younger, ladies were classy.